Anticipation. Eagerness. Sexiness. Loneliness. Contentment. Resentment. Lust. Love Excitement.
Feeling everything. "Home" alone the night before I depart once again for Costa Rica to hideout for the winter. Fourth year doing so. You'd think I'd gotten the swing of it by now. And don't get me wrong... I've learned alot from my previous years. Like NOT to bring a TRUNK full of vinyl to an area only accessible by boat. Each year it gets easier. But at the same time, each year it gets more intense.
What is this feeling? Where is my homeland? There she goes...escaping to paradise again. It's true, I really have swore off pants, and yea jungle living can be as easy as bikinis & coconuts. But even paradise has it's problems. I'm already preparing myself for being droppoed off by boat at the bay. No more kickin' it cool in the city headed for the neon lights. Yea...I'm sure alot of people have been to Costa Rica...and I' not knocking them. But, man. THIS life? It's different. Monkeys can steal your sandwich. Crabs can crawl in your tent. Snakes can inhabit those beautiful flower vaes...the same ones you stick your head so close to to smell. And god damnit can anybody here me? ANYONE? Scared to sing? FUCK. Siren on a seacliff and I didn't get cast for this role. My head is spinning just thinking about the changing of worlds. But hey, if I've learned anything from the animals, it's to adapt to your environment for survival. And this jungle cats on a mission. Sure, I'm barely breathing. But just taking it all in. Some may never know...just HOW remote. What I have to give up to be here. But nothing like the jungle air. So I bid my time swinging from vines , paddling away the time.
But when I/m out on that ocean blue... better believe I'm still thinking of you...
BUt I do my own thing. And I know the bees sting.
But can't help me of thinking of all that could be.
But who would want me? If I didn't want me?
So the jungle I will head
To make sense of all the things we left unsaid.
Regain my confidence & style
Through livin' in sync with the wild.
Last sounds before I drift to bed...Shangri La running through my head.

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